Feeling Fugly
Existing, what seems to me a rediculously long time without sleep, I have been too tired to fix myself up. That said, my usual skirts and "cute shoes" that give me that extra boost of confidence were traded in for my comfy pants and flats. I appeared a mish mosh of colors: pink blouse, black pants, brown shoes, light blue sweater, complete with green peticoat and matching green hat and scarf. Though comfy and warm enough to keep trekking through the day I experienced a very noticable plummet in my confidence. I think it important to mention that I have never been one to measure my self worth or esteem through material goods, yet the past years have left me a completely different person. My weight gain, a total of 60 pounds, left me decidedly insecure with my body. So it is through hiding my body and accentuating those fabulous shoes and accesories (purses, scarves, jewelry, hats, even gloves) that I have managed to elude depression. In fact, the fear of deep seeded depression has motivated me to get myself to the gym, long enough, to drop 20 of the 60 pounds gained. However, my recently hectic work has left me with little time and much less energy to even entertain the idea of stepping foot into the gym. The result?...Fugliness! I feel myself drawn to that all too familiar dark place, "the rut", with little hope of escape!
Tags:
style, hope, appearance, humor, weight loss, women
