Baby Shower is over
Ok, the baby shower is over. I think it turned out great. I enlisted the help of my aunt and a friend to get the cake and ice cream and balloons. I guess I was so upset because I used to spend lots of money on gifts and now I can't. Or was it something else. In the past, all I've ever said is that I DON'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS. Sure, I like kids, but only other people's kids. I witnessed 3 births in the last 6 years and I was terrified of the idea of giving birth. I always said that I would just adopt, or that by the time I'm ready, technology will be so advanced that I could just drop off my egg and my husband's sperm in a lab then pick up my baby 9 months later! (Well, not really.) What I'm trying to say is that I NEVER wanted to have kids. UNTIL NOW. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because I was planning the baby shower and looking at all of the baby stuff. Or maybe it's because my sister now works at the same office as I do so I get to hear all about her two year old and how he's learning to potty. Or maybe it was that night I babysat my little brothers a couple of weeks ago (they're 5 and 6 years old) and Devon (the 6 year old) came to my bed at 2 a.m. because he'd had a bad dream. It just felt so good to sleep next to this child who needed my comforting. I guess lately I've had this overwhelming feeling of wanting a baby. Yet, I feel that I must wait at least a couple of more years. My husband is ready also but we really can't afford to pay for child care and we don't qualify for child care assistance. (Remember, in my profile I say that I'm a planner-I plan for everything.) I looked into the cost of adding a child to our health insurance, I called around for costs of child care, and I asked around about the costs of feeding and clothing a child. I guess we could squeeze some money but we really wouldn't be comfortable. So I guess for now, we'll wait a while longer and I'll just enjoy the freedom.
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