Posted By: ivillagecares on

Monday, July 30th, 2007, 1:21 pm

"The solution to adult problems tomorrow depends on large measure upon how our children grow up today."

Those are the words of the famed cultural anthropologist, Margaret Mead and they are as true today as when she first said them decades ago. Ironically often - too often -- it is adults who pose the greatest threat to children in the form of child abuse.

Child abuse is a trauma that has longstanding after affects not just on the victim but on the society as a whole. The tragedy of the individual is painful enough, but when one looks at the ripple effect of the consequences of child abuse, it becomes all of our jobs to pay closer attention.

According to the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse & Neglect Information, abused children are:

25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy

3 times less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for sexually transmitted diseases.

The United States Department of Justice reports even more troubling data in that:

14.4% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children 36.7% of all women in prison were abused as children Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent crime.

In New York City, where I live, child abuse occurs with a depressing amount of frequency. One in three children experiences some type of abuse before they reach their 18th birthday. Think back to your youth and your teen years. Recall the friends and fun times you may have had. Now imagine that ripped from your life, ripped from your memory having it replaced by thoughts of fear and pain.

That is what it is like for a child who is a victim of abuse.

And what makes it worse -- if such an act could be made worse -- is that more often than not the victim knows and trusts the perpetrator.

Sadly, many cases go unreported or untreated. This leads to a vicious cycle as 1/3 of all abused or neglected children will later abuse their own children, according to the organization ChildHelp.

I am the founder of, the New York Center for Children, which is helping to stop the cycle. The Center is 12 years old, but in those dozen years we have created a child-friendly free clinic, to help victims of child abuse. Each child receives a thorough physical examination from a medical professional and clinically trained social workers, and psychologists talk to children in a sensitive manner to gather the facts, so they can design a course of therapy.

The Center works in coordination with the Police Department, the District Attorney's Office and the Administration for Children's Services, to increase the effectiveness of any investigation and reduce any potential trauma to the child.

Even with all these wonderful resources, the children can use your help. The Center is always in need of volunteers who care about and enjoy children. If time is not something you have in long supply, and would prefer to make a donation, they are gladly accepted. You can do both online.

More importantly if you know of someone who is being abused or if your child has been abused and you are seeking help for you and your child or your family, visit the New York Center for Children online. 

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Posted By: ivillagecares on

Friday, July 20th, 2007, 5:30 pm

Next time you are in Borders or Barnes & Noble or your local bookstore, take a good look around at the people shopping.

Invariably they are picking up books, flipping through the pages, looking at pictures, or reading passages. It is the old adage, "you can't judge a book by its cover."

The same holds true next time you walk down the street. Do you really know what you are seeing?

A case in point would be Philomene Koya.

Not too long ago, you might have seen Philomene exiting a stretch limousine with diplomatic plates, dressed for a fabulous function as part of the affairs of state in her home country and ours. But amid what we might have seen as Philomene's life of glamour was a life of pain, genuine pain.

Here's how she tells the story:

I was living a wonderful life -- my husband was powerful and successful, we moved in all the right circles, and we lived in a beautiful house. But my "perfect life" wasn't perfect at all, for in the privacy of our home, my husband was abusing me.

The abuse began when I enrolled in ESL (English as a Second language) and computer classes. My husband didn't want me going to school, he said that I belonged at home and didn't need an education or to learn English. But I wanted to learn the language of the country I was living in, and I wanted to improve myself by furthering my education, so I attended classes despite his objections and abuse.

During this time I became pregnant. I thought my husband would stop beating me because I was carrying his child. Instead, the abuse worsened, and my husband started to withhold money from me. I had no income of my own, and when he did this I began to realize how vulnerable I was, and how important it was for me to speak good English and to develop some marketable skills.

Unfortunately, before I had the chance to fully accomplish my educational goals -- and after my daughter was born -- my husband went too far. He tried to kill me by poisoning my food. As I lay in the hospital bed, clinging to life but not knowing what life had in store for me, I finally decided I had to take my children and escape... despite having nowhere to go.

I didn't return to my homeland because of threats my husband made about getting to me when I returned to Africa. So for three years my children and I wandered from shelter to shelter. When we had literally run out of places to go, and I had run out of hope, a miracle happened...

That "miracle" was an organization called Second Chance Employment Services. This is a non-profit organization filled with human resources professionals who give people, just what the name implies a second chance at life.

And they pull off little miracle every day by helping at-risk women and their children with career counseling and job placement.

The world and the United States are filled with people who would like to better their life, but just need a helping hand -- not a hand out. Second Chance extends that hand to help welfare recipients, the elderly and financially at-risk women from those skills range from minimal education and experience to skilled professionals. All are placed in meaningful employment positions. It helps them, helps their family and helps the world at large. Just ask Philomene.

I had no hope, no confidence, no job, and no home. The people at Second Chance had an understanding of how women like me feel, and what we need. They did so much along the way to finding a good job for me -- they found me an apartment, daycare for my children, work clothing, and they paid our expenses until my first paycheck arrived from my new job at The World Bank. But besides all of this that can be seen and measured, Second Chance helped me to rebuild my hope and self-confidence, they gave me the moral support I needed to believe in my future and to never again be a victim of abuse.

Wow!!!!!!!!!

So what can you do? Actually a good deal!!!!

The Second Chance web site, which is where you can read other stories like that of Philomene, takes job postings and of course you can always make a donation.

But you can also get involved first hand. If you are human resources professional, your services can be utilized right away. If not, Second Chance has a need for pro bono work for legal services, fundraising, public relations, web sites, salon/image makeovers, dentistry, plastic surgery and counseling.

Too busy? Not sure if it is for you?

Remember one never knows when one will need a second chance.

 

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