Posted By: mellers on

Sunday, September 14th, 2008, 4:25 am

... the scene: Somewhere in England. Mellers has returned home from 2 weeks holiday and the usual post holiday conversation ensues...

Chum: OHI. U look well. U have good hols?

Mellers: Fine thx. Lovely. GR8.

Chum:KthxBai

The truth .....

Chum: Hi. U look well. U have good hols?

Mellers: It was actually awful. It ranks right up there with the worst holiday of my life. I would go so far as to say it was about the equal second worst holiday I have ever had. Not quite as bad as the RTA or a flight to LA when partner pushed a small child while nudging his chair and had a stand up row with angry parents in row behind. (We could have been thrown off plane and things went down hill from there), but about as bad as the time we tried to go to Holland and rowed so badly within the first 24 hours that we had to drive out of the country that day and back to Calais - in Silence.

Chum:Oh. Why was it so awful?

Mellers: I had the nearest thing to a complete mental breakdown and have probably taken about 5 years off my life with the anxiety and adreneline levels coursing through my veins. The screaming matches were a constant and daily - no hourly feature. With no means of escape in the middle of nowhere, I was physically and mentally overwhelmed so was actually unable to extricate myself from the situation and completely in the hands of someone else who a) didn't understand the serious nature of the situation and b) wasn't helping matters and c) was actually making things worse

Chum: Oh. Why don't you leave him blah blah blah.

Mellers: Do we really HAVE to have that conversation again, I've already explained why I CAN'T leave.

Chum: yeah right. Nice weather we are having for the time of year.....

Later, in the offices of the script editor

Editor: yeah I think we'll go with version A Mellers, so much less hassle.

Tags: holiday

Posted By: mellers on

Friday, August 29th, 2008, 4:55 am

I'm off on my hols (again!) this evening for a couple of weeks in the South of France near Perpignan. I may get some internet connectivity while I am there, but of course I can't guarantee it so this may be my last post for a couple of weeks.

I'll be looking to eat a lot more healthily than last time and limit my weight gain to maybe 4-7lbs in the two weeks I am there, rather than the 18pounds I gained last time. I'm also looking to have a bit of a rest as I have been really busy lately and rahter running myself ragged.

It will be straight back in to the am-dram group when I return as the 1st dress rehearsal is the day after I get back and first night is 2 days after that. It's all go, go go!

Tags: relaxing, holiday

Posted By: mellers on

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008, 6:29 pm

Haven't blogged AGAIN for about 2 days, but then I HAVE been busy! lol! Packing preparing to go on holiday, prompting during the evenings at rehearsals for the play and taking on all the housework, cooking etc during the day now that partner is working full time and not at home to do his fair share.

I lost the pound I gained 2 weeks ago when I weighed in yesterday - looks like my efforst to remain teetotal and in control at Saturday's BBQ have paid off. Sadly though, it DOES man that I haven't made my personal target to lost my 18lb previous holiday gain, by the time I go away again on Friday. Oh well - I will try not to put on as much this time and do my best to get it off when I get back.

My knee is still hurting so no running so far, but we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Tags: running, weight loss, holiday, rehearsals

Posted By: mellers on

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008, 5:46 am

I haven't blogged about my last 2 training sessions while I was on holiday in the burgundy region so here is a precis from the Running for fitness and fun board where i have kept my log:

Tags: holiday, 10k, running, training

Posted By: mellers on

Monday, July 7th, 2008, 2:29 pm

For week now I've been seeing an error on my screen whenever I try to look at anyone else's blogs. "This user does not currently have any blogs" Connect proudly tells me, despite me knowing this is codswallop!

Of course any of my connections are getting the same message with my blogs at the moment and can't see anything I've written, so even the last few die hards with this site have stopped writing comments on my blogs. It's really saddened me up to now (and rather worried me too as I can forsee a time when iVillage abandon connect altogither and I los the last year and a half of my musings about my life! lol!) but I have to say that in the absence of the "private" setting where you can write want you want for your eyes only I am relieved to be able to get things off my chest without worrying about what people will think.

I am having a rough time of it. I came back from holiday (same anxieties - different location) to scary admin tasks and an even deeper depression where everything is upsetting me. My manager is pissing me off and partner can't do a thing right. I gained 18 pounds in 2 weeks (yes Eighteen pounds, that's NOT a typo) and due to a sore throat for the last 6 days have missed completing my last 2 training sessions on my journey to be able to run 10k non-stop.

I feel mentally and physically exhausted and see little point in my life at the moment especially since the "night overheating" (can't really call it "night sweats" as I dont seem to perspire just get really hot to the point where itis waking me up) has continued long after the 40 degree temeperatures of my holiday and I am now convinced this is the start of the menopause.

Now I will never have children. It's over. I've run out of time.

Tags: anger, holiday, depression, overheating