Posted By: mellers on

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, 1:32 pm

OK, brace yourself coz this is going to be a MAJOR rant!

RANT ALERT!

There's this one woman at work who I am doing a project for and this has to be at least the FOURTH time she has said she will get back to me with information within a certain timescale and she hasn't. This last time when I spoke to her this morning expecting information she promised would be available today, I even extended my working hours from 1:00 pm to take her call with the info I needed at 3:00 p.m. By the time she STILL hadn't rung by 4:30 I rang her only to get her voicemail.

I tried her landline, but that was engaged and continued to be engaged until 5:20p.m. I told her on TWO voicemail messages between 4:30 and 5:20 that I really needed certain information from her BY close of business today in order to meet the cut-off dates for my own 3rd party suppliers and I woudl leave my phone on to speak to her until 6 p.m..

She hasn't rung me of course and her landline is now ringing freely so she's obviously gone home, and I am now facd with having to run around like a headless chicken tomorrow morning in the half an hour I will have before having to be in a meeting a) apologising to everyone on her behalf coz I didn't pass on the inormation she said she'd have for me by C.O.B. today and b) trying to ensure everyone has all the information they need in order to meet her deadline of Friday for the actual work to be done.

It REALLY gets on my TITS when people let you down like this then act like I'M the one being unreasonable asking her to keep to deadlines she has previously agreed to. That's one of the reasons I effing HATE this effing job, and I BET I don't sleep tonight because of this.

RANT OVER.

Tags: rant, insomnia, work, anxiety

Posted By: sleepybarbara on

Friday, December 14th, 2007, 12:01 pm

March 3-6, 2008 is National Sleep Awareness Week. You'll be hearing a lot on the news about why it's important to get a good night's sleep. Take it seriously. Sleeping is key to good health. Unfortunately, millions of American suffer from insomnia. I'm one of them, but I've found something that really helps. I call it sleepwriting.  At bedtime, I pick up a pad and pencil and start writing.  I start with the first words that pop into my head and keep going for three pages—no looking back—and after I’m done, the noise of the day is silenced, I can hear my own voice and I slip into a deep restorative sleep.  

Everybody can sleepwrite.  Here’s how:

•    Forget everything you know about writing.  You’re not writing a story.  You’re writing to fall asleep.  Spelling, grammar and neat penmanship don’t matter. Your subconscious will lead the way.
•    Get yourself a pen or pencil and a notebook or pad that will fit comfortably in your hand.  Put it beside your bed.
•    Get ready for bed.  Do all the stuff you have to do before turning in.  That includes your usual grooming rituals, locking up your home, setting your alarm and turning off the overhead lights in your bedroom.
•    Plump up your pillows so you can sit comfortably.
•    Pick up your notebook and pen—or pad and pencil.
•    Turn off your inner editor or English teacher.  Sleepwriting isn’t an assignment.  It’s something you’re doing for yourself.
•    Start writing the first words that come into your head and let your mind take your hand where it wants to go for three pages.
•    Don’t worry if what your writing doesn’t seem to make any sense.  It doesn’t have to.  You’re just “draining your brain,” and giving up all the stress of the day.
•    At the end of your third page, put down your sleepwriting tools, lie down and sleep.

Sleepwriting is proven to work.  Log-on to some sleep expert sites.  Many of them recommend writing before bedtime.  I recommend it as the best non-toxic sleep aid and a path to greater creativity—for anyone in any job.  Bedtime Stories: The short, long and tall tales of a sleepwriter is pulled from my years of sleepwriting journals.  The next book in the series will be a collection of stories by my readers.  You can log-on www.greatlittlebooksllc.com to learn how to submit stories for possible publication.

Bedtime Stories is getting a lot of buzz.  “Insomniacs will enjoy the lightness and whimsy (not typical of ‘I can’t sleep, what the hell am I going to do’ books) as a break from the rigors of getting your room pitch black, counting backwards, and so forth.” says Ilene Segalove co-author of best selling List Your Self: Listmaking as the Way to Self-discovery. Julie Morgenstern, author of Time Management from the Inside Out, sees the stories as “the perfect bedtime treat to lull your mind to rest after the haste of the day.”  Jesse Kornbluth, editor of HeadButler.com says the stories, “jab away at your resistance.” RJ McGill says, "Refreshing, chock-full of personality and written with an awe inspiring clarity of spirit that is thoroughly entertaining, you will read and re-read these stories," and actor and activist Ed Begley, Jr., “enjoyed every delicious page of Barbara Worton’s book.”   I hope you will too.  Sleep tight.

Tags: insomnia, sleep, bedtime, beauty sleep, insomniac

Posted By: mellers on

Thursday, February 7th, 2008, 11:33 am

Just got back from 3 hours at work today and that's really taken it out of me again. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to cope with a full day when it comes eventually! but hey, that's what the phased re-introduction is designed to cope with. On a less positive note, I was also awake at 3 am again this morning and couldn't get back to sleep.There's no reasoning with insomnia. Once your mind/body has decided that it's too wound up to sleep, no amount of reassurance that "there's nothing to worry about, really" at 3 a.m., 4 a.m., 5 a.m., 6 a.m., does any good! lol!Other bits are getting easier. I had my first encounter today with 3 people I used to work with and managed to deal satisfactorily with the "where have you been" Qs. I fobbed them off with, "It all got a bit much, so I was having a rest for  - well a couple of years!" (Understatement of the century!) I also made an effort to chat for 3-5 mins with someone sat at the desk opposite me and felt myself being "welcomed" in to the office by a load of people I didn't really know - such is the lot of the peripatetic member of staff. That is a huge improvement, on days of yore though. In days gone by I would have kept my head down, tried not to get in the way, tried not to get noticed and spent 8 hours there, trying to hide! so that's better!I would say it's swings and roundabouts. Some bits are better, some are gradually improving and some (getting a good nights sleep for example) are back to square one! Hey - look on the bright side - it could be worse!I went to Salsa last night and, without partner, got chatted up by someone I was trying to avoid - but hey it's not all bad. The lovely dancing teacher was also there and asked me to dance in the freestyle session after the lesson (it's his job to I think!). I DO like dancing with him particularly, as he's such a good dancer and leads so firmly and gently, that it really makes you feel as if you can do it well - which I can't of course, it's just that he's so good at it!

Tags: salsa, insomnia, work

Posted By: mellers on

Monday, November 26th, 2007, 4:37 am

My goal weight is so close now, I can almost taste it. Having shifted another 2lbs this week, I have now only 2 lbs to go go get to my full Weight Watchers goal of 10 stone.

Having also pledged to get there by the end of our MSN group challenge, I should also be OK for that unless I do anything really stupid in the next 2 weeks. You never know, I might even manage it next week if I can get some exercise in this week.

Sadly though, I've come down with my first cold in about a year, and I am struggling to have the energy to do any excersise at all. COmpared to the 30 accumulated exercise points of the previous week, last week I did 8 and a half, but I'm not going to be too hard on myself.

The other thing I wanted to blog about this morning was the drama production I have agreed to be in. As you may already know, I am a member of a charity-funded VIDEO drama group, where the emphasis is on filmed output rather than theatre. No pressure, plenty of opportunity for multiple takes and generally a fun atmosphere. Its "sister" group, the drama group which runs on a yearly cycle, creating and performing their production, has now finished meeting up for the year and won't be staring again until Feb, so a lot of the drama group members come along to the video group as well.

The DRAMA group are however taking this year's production on tour tomorrow, with a repeat performance of the prodcution in town, and one of the cast members has become unwell. The producer asked me if I wanted to take over her part last week, when her illness became apparent. I agreed, as much of the dialogue can be read from carefully disguised script pages on set, or cue cards so there is minimal line-learning to be done. I thought I wouldn't get too anxious about it, but blow me if the first cold i have had for a year has just hit me - AND HIT ME HARD.

Now, colds for me are usually a 2-week affair, with guaranteed secondary throat infection thrown in. I usually lose my voice, and of course am currently feeling crap and not sleeping (whether the insomnia is as a result of my ilness or my anxiety is not clear at this point). What is pretty obvious is that I have a 24/7 headache - all my muscles ache and I can barely speak. Not exactly oscar-winning conditions, but the show must go on, as they say. Wish me luck and if I can get a good night's sleep tonight, that's half the battle I think.

Tags: cold, weight watchers, drama, video, ill

Posted By: mellers on

Sunday, November 25th, 2007, 8:21 am

The jolly old insomnia is back with a vengence.

For the last two nights (or should I say mornings) I have woken up at approximately 3 a.m. and been unable to get back to sleep, without turning on the TV and trying to get my brain to switch off for a couple of hours. I do get back to sleep eventually, but it's usually not till 6.a.m. or so, so I usually wake up late or tired.

I know why it is (which is something I suppose). I went out Friday night (usually an anxious experience for me anyway) and rather than being careful about what I said or did, I relaxed completely and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Sadly the usual effect of that is that I'm either boring to be with, or end up not bbeing interested enough in what the other person has to say, so my anxiety is that I wasn't good enough company, because I wasn't concentrating on being nice! (Trust me, that can and does happen!)

Secondly, for the first time in nearly a year, I have actually come down with a full-blown cold. My echinacea is doing it's best, but sadly this time wasn't enough to overcome the biting temperatures of Friday when I was standing around for hours in minus temperatures, while filming on location. My throat is sore, my nose is runny and I'm having trouble breathing. Still, once a year is a huge improvement on the usual 4-6 colds a year that I normally get, so I'm not complaining!

The final reason has to do with a forthcominng drama production which I have (foolishly it now seems) agreed to be in a VERY short notice. I'll blog a bit more about it tomorrow when my brain is working better and I can explain what happened. Hopefully I'll have had a good night's sleep and won't be struggling to breathe.

I will say however that the moonlight of the last 2 nights has been quite beautiful. We've has a full moon and NO cloud cover outside (so it's been really cold). The moonlight at 3 a.m. has been so bright from the West, that it cast a house-shaped shadow across the lawn. The quality of light at that time reminded me so much of the last partial solar eclipse I witnessed on 11th Aug 1999. It was bright enough to shine through the windws and illuminate the interior of the house. Funny what you notice when you can't sleep in the middle of the night!

Tags: drama, cold, moonlight, insomnia