Posted By: mellers on
Friday, April 11th, 2008, 7:27 am
Went to WW class last night and it was the first evening for our new replacement leader. She's a newly qualified WW leader so I think she's a bit out of her depth just now, bless her, but I really hope she manages to overcome her nerves for future weeks.
She read most of what she was saying last night from long-hand notes and struggled to keep the interest of the class, who mostly dissolved in to chatting amongst themselves and making it difficult to hear her. She was obviously nervous and didn't engage on a personal level as some of the truly inspiring class leaders can. She's also not currently at her own goal weight which, while it shows she's still human and knows what we go through, doesn't commend her to me as a good example! lol!
I really wanted to feel inpired by here after the previous week, where I didn't feel I got much oomph from what was essentially a cookery demonstration by the previous stand-in, but I can away feeling flat and deflated. I can't help but feel like we have been spoiled at our local class lately by having the area manager stand in for us when the old leader resigned.
I may try a different local meeting if I can find one on another evening that suits. Unfortunately, the most local one to me is help on a Monday, the same evening as my French class and I can't leave that until after the exam on 16th June. Then I'm on holiday for 2 weeks (and we know what holidays in France do to a girl's weight! lol!) so it will be late July early August before I can make the switch.
Anyway, having "gained" last night didn't help with the need to comfort eat which has been creeping up on me for a few days now and came to a head this afternoon.
Ok so the rational part of my brain KNOWS that comfort eating is a BAD idea. It doesn't make me feel any better in the long run and the few minutes of 'comfort' I get from the moments that the food is in my mouth are NOTHING compared to the DAYS or possible WEEKS of self-recrimination and guilt that I can suffer if I give in to it, but I'm afraid I'm really struggling to think this way today.
I know what the problem is as well.
My French oral exam is just over a week away and our poorly organised French teacher has given us precious little opportunity to practice in class. I would normally make my own preparations for practice, by listening to loads of spoken French and asking my (completely fluent in French) partner to converse with me on my chosen subject, but his attitude to not wanting to help me EVERY TIME I have asked him in the last week is really upsetting me.
He is huffy, reticent and moody & each and every time I ask him to talk to me in French (this should be no big deal for him as he's fluent and I've even given him the subject matter and lots of ideas for things to say). His completely "I really DON'T want to help you, Mellers" attitude has gone past the point of pissing me off so now we've had our second row in two days about it. It's not like I'm not constantly thinking of how I can help him overcome his illness and practically be his carer and the ONE time I ask for his help he treats me like this. I am SOOOO angry and upset it's not true. Add this to the worry over the exam and how I don't feel prepared enough for it and that's a recipe for comfort eating.
I'm DESPERATELY trying NOT to do it today, but I'm really quite close to giving in.
Tags:
upset, comfort, deflated, class, weight watchers
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