Connect Carnival 06/12/07
June 17 is Father's Day, a day that, unlike Mother's Day, goes largely unnoticed as everyone's too preoccupied with Junior's graduation to think much about dear old Dad. Even those holiday-related sales seem to pitch ideas for items that are the "perfect gifts for dads and grads" - what? Dad doesn't warrant a solo gift suggestion? It's so unfair! What about you? Are you a daddy's girl, too? What is/was your father like? Is/was he serious or silly, strict or lax, distant or close, cold or affectionate? Tell us about the fathers in your life and help us all remember that dads are people, too!
My mother and father got divorced when I was two. My father was very strict and cold to say the least. He was extremely judgmental and harsh in his actions and words. What I remember most is dreading visiting days with my Father because I never knew what he was going to say towards me or about me. He was constantly making comments about my clothes, hair, makeup, and my Mother. I have always been close with my Mother so that alone made me cringe and I slowly developed a distaste towards my Father.
When I became old enough, I decided to no longer visit my Father and tried to sever all ties with him. After I went off to college, he contacted me a few times but the conversations never changed. He was very angry with me and always pointed out how ungrateful and selfish I was. How my Mother was turning me against him, blah blah blah.
When I graduated from college, I decided it was time to be completely 'free'. I asked my brother not to give our Father any of my contact information. My brother kept in contact with our Father on and off for a few years after that but once my brother got married things changed. when my Father would visit them, he started making snide comments about a woman's place and how my brother needs to make sure to 'keep his wife in line.' My brother let this slide for a bit but eventually had enough and decided to severe ties as well.
About 7 years ago, my Mother finally told us what I had assumed all along. That our Father was abusive towards her. Our Mother was diagnoised with gastric cancer in 1994. She had a very strong relationship with God and had come to forgive our Father. She knew she could share this with us without any kind of malice or ill-will. (Our Mother passed away in 1997.)
My Father turned me off towards marriage and children. Anyone that knew me growing up would have sworn I'd never be married let alone have 3 kids and wanting another. My Mother changed my mind however. She met a great man the last 3 years of her life who deeply loved and cared for her during her last few years on earth.
My DH is a wonderful man! He is a kind, loving, generous husband and Father. He truly is one of a kind and I will be forever grateful to my Mother for showing me what a true loving caring relationship is all about.
Happy Father's Day Sweetie! We are blessed to have you in our lives! Flag it:
